Monday, May 11, 2009

Hitler's Youth (or the artist as fascist the fascist as artist Pt. 1)

Ok, everybody knows about Hitler not getting accepted into Art School and then going on to cause quite a bit of trouble in the thirties and forties, right? But did you know that Mussolini was a writer of serial fiction? Or that Franco forced political prisoners to carve a massive underground basilica?
Jeff Koons eat your heart out! With the resources of an entire country and and an iron disregard towards human rights anything can be accomplished. If that sounds tempting, it is probably because you are an artist, or a fascist, whatever ...
In this ongoing series we will look at fascists who were once artists, and artists who are at least a little bit fascist.

Pt.1 Hitler's Youth

It is common knowledge that Hitler was an artist before he was a mass murderer. I have just returned from reading a passage from his bestseller,
"I had been by far the best in my class at drawing, and since then my ability had developed amazingly; my own satisfaction caused me to take a joyful pride in hoping for the best."
But unfortunately for the world, the Vienna Academy would not accept him as a student. He goes on to say that they reccommended him for the architecture program but there was a problem see, he forgot to mail his student loans off and then they were going to make him room with like, two other guys in the dorm and so hitler was all, "Vergessen Sie das!"
No not really, what happened was he went to take some make up classes at the Technic and they wouldn't admit him because they "required a high-school degree". In other words Hitler needed to get his G.E.D..

If any of this sounds familiar than you probably either have some flaky artist friends or are a flaky artist yourself. Don't get all mad and invade Poland or anything just go make an installation with menstrual blood and sealing wax and the urge will go away. But take note artists! Apart from Vaclav Havel, artists have done a shitty job of running things in the real world. That is why funding for the arts must be increased. An artist unleashed into reality is a dangerous thing.

Let's take a quick look at two of Adi Schickelgruber's pieces. First we've got the picture that, unless he meant to draw the model snapping her own neck, cinched his non-acceptance into the academy. She appears to have dislocated her left shoulder in the process but she remains happy.
Perhaps she is thinking,
"I may be dying but at least no one will notice that my arms are twice the length of my body and that my breasts are two different sizes!"

On second thought it is a good thing he didn't go to the Academy. If he had presented this at critiques there would be a Nazi colony on Mars right now.

Here is the next one. This one answers one of two questions; either Hitler could not draw women or he did not know how to recognize a transvestite.
I think the inscription reads,
"Dearest Eva,
I have never met a woman with shoulders like yours.
Love Adolf
PS Last night was fab, let's do it with the lights on tonight!"

That is it for now fascist watchers and art fans. Remember to keep your paint flowing and never lead a populist movement to overthrow the government on account of one lousy bad review, OK?

Reference, odds and sods
This one fawns over Hitler (kind of icky)
Adolf on the couch
Hitler's own Da Vinci Code
Jake and Dinos, cheeky buggers